Back in Action

Hey there, blog world. Sorry to be gone for so long. I had to take a little break from wedding planning for a bit to find my brain again, but now I'm back in action and with the wedding less than 7 months away, I have realized I still have a ton to do!

Here's a list of upcoming posts I'll get to in the next couple weeks:

Completion of the Dress Saga

Engagement Photo Shoot

Bridesmaid Dresses

Wedding Band Shopping

Centerpieces.... SO UNDECIDED!!

Workout/Slim Down Update

That's all for now, but I'll leave you with a preview of our engagement shoot. My all time favorite shot from that day.

(SB Studios)

Sometimes - It's just meant to be...

Seems like once you tell people you're engaged, they want to hear the ENTIRE history of your relationship. So... how did you meet? How long have you been dating? How did he propose? When's the wedding!?

It's sort of daunting and incredibly overwhelming for me. I get a little pang of guilt everytime I answer those questions. Guilt? Why? Welllllll.... It's because I know I'm not giving them the whole truth whenever I tell the story. "We met at a bar with friends after work" - absolutely 100% true statement. However, I usually leave out the part about breaking up with my old boyfriend a week earlier...

OH, the scandal!!! I know, I know. While I don't usually tell that part of the story, it really is a true testament to fate and the saying "things happen for a reason."

While I was a newly single girl, one week out of a 2.5 year relationship, Mr. S was also freshly out of a relationship. He was 2 months single after a 6 year relationship! Now, I'm sure you're thinking - jeez people, red light, these two people should not even think of getting into any kind of relationship - and definitely not a long term one. Believe it or not, we were telling ourselves that EXACT same thing.

After the night we met at the bar, we exchanged texts and ended up going out for dinner a few nights later. We were practically inseperable for about 2 weeks until we both took a step back and said - WAIT. Timeout, we're not ready for this. It was a complete 180. One day I was the happiest girl in the world, and the next I was an absolute mess. It hurt so bad; the separation anxiety was so painful. We kept telling ourselves it was wrong. We needed time to be single and to work out the kinks from our last 2-6 committed years. Yes, of course we had been having fun (so so so much fun) but we kept telling ourselves it was just new and exciting. We were just looking for a way to forget the past. We really needed time to heal and we didn't want to ruin something so great by being each other's rebounds.

And then - we said our goodbyes and decided to take a break.

And I cried. And cried.

Little did I know, he was hurting too. What we had just felt so right and just too good to walk away. After talking - we discovered that we both felt the exact same way. What we had was that special, once in a lifetime feeling that neither of us could really ignore. So, after our little time out - which I think lasted all of 10 days - we were back together again. 3 years later we were engaged, and now 9 months away from "officially" commiting to spending the rest of our lives together.

I cannot tell you how glad I am that I trusted my gut and didn't throw this relationship away because I didn't think it was what "normal" people should do. I mean, seriously - you never usually hear good things about a girl who jumps from one guy to the next over the course of a week... I didn't want to be "that" girl - the rebound girl. But, I really was "that" girl. That girl that found "that" guy to spend the rest of her life with.

I know - a bit sappier than my usual posts, but I just wanted to share my experience in case there are girls out there who are questioning the same thing. I know I did - so many nights I spent questioning my decisions. But, when it feels so right - you just have to say "Sometimes - it's just meant to be."

The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

Remember a couple weeks ago when I was so super excited about my new workout and diet plan? How I’m magically going to have to take my dress in 3 sizes. You remember? Nice! Well – just to give you an update, it’s been good, bad, and sometimes pretty ugly…

(Source)

Where to begin. The good maybe? OK friends, it’s been 2 weeks on my pseudo-weight watchers plan, and going to the gym/exercising 3+ times a week – and I’ve officially lost 4 pounds!! I know, doesn’t seem like a lot, but 2 lbs a week is a healthy way to lose the pounds for good. If I can keep going at that rate, I’ll be a size 10 in no time! I hope anyway… It has been hard though, don’t get me wrong. I am such an emotional eater, and when a bad day hits, you’ll find me in the refrigerator, or the freezer if there is ice cream!! It’s really been a conscious effort to just stop, get a glass of water, and try to distract myself away from wanting to eat.

The bad? Maybe not so bad, but I have been SO SORE over the past two weeks, it’s just been nuts. No pain, no gain? No pain and I could maybe feel like I could actually get out of bed in the morning…. I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard, doing muscle toning classes at the gym, working out with one of my good friends (in the privacy of my own living room, by the way) doing balletone, and even working with a trainer at the gym. They have all seriously kicked my butt over the past couple weeks, and my muscles are crying for mercy!! Just have to keep telling myself it’s worth it. Because it really is. I’m already feeling better, sleeping better, and just have more energy in general. Something I’ve been missing in my life for so long!

And the ugly? Oh man, it was seriously ugly…. As I mentioned above, I worked out with a trainer at the gym. I really signed myself up to make sure I had a standing appointment at the gym, and to learn some new routines, as I had done this about a year ago and it worked pretty well. So, getting back into it, I signed up with a new trainer who works with more of a conditioning style. I can handle that. I played varsity sports all through college, and I’m still a pretty active athlete, I can DO conditioning just fine. HA. Yeah, I was about to puke about 15 mins into my work out. He kept pushing me the whole way, “c’mon B, you need to give me more than that. Row harder, you should be sprinting right now.” I really lost it right at the end. I had just done about 150 sit ups over the past 25 mins (sit-ups mind you, not crunches…) and he tells me to hold a full body plank for 60 seconds. If you don’t know what I’m talking about – see below.

(Source)

I held on for about 35 seconds or so, then dropped. I tried to get myself back up, but could only hold for about 5 seconds before dropping again. I was so frustrated with myself, but I was just so beat, I couldn’t do it. So he says, “Well, I guess you’re done for today.” We walk over to the counter and he says “It only gets harder from here. I don’t know if you can handle my workouts, but it is totally up to you, just let me know if you want to go on.” Gee, thanks A-hole, I’m sorry I didn’t come to you in tip-top shape, but, isn’t that why I’m here? To get to that point? Aren’t you supposed to work with me!? Ugh, I was fuming, I was so pissed off. I gave him a nice smile and said, “I guess I’ll just work out on my own until I can reach your caliber of training. Thanks.” And walked away.

I haven’t signed up for a new trainer yet, but I’ll get there eventually. Hopefully I’ll find someone who will work with me and build me up to that tip-top shape I’m looking for. Just need to make it through Turkey Day this week! Luckily we’re doing a “turkey-trot” on Thursday morning before the big event!


Have a great Thanksgiving everyone! Catch you on the flip side…

I need me some STDs!

Ummm, excuse me? Yes, you know, Save the Dates? Jeez people, get your minds out of the gutter...

Anywho, during our wedding planning session this weekend, Mr. S and I realized the next big thing on our to-do list is design our save-the-dates! This is one of the things I've been most excited about, but when we finally got to it, I realized I have NO CLUE what I want to do.

Well, that is sort of a lie, I have a pretty good idea of what I don't want. I know I don't want magnets. Not sure why I feel that strongly against them, but its just not my style. So there. I'm also not a huge fan of just a postcard. Something about 100 cards with our picture on them floating through the country and all the postal workers checking us out kinda freaks me out... So, that leaves us with some sort of card in an envelope. Great, only about a million options to choose from.

Off to Google. We want to incorporate one or several of our awesome engagement photos (post coming soon, I promise), so I started off with a search for "photo save the dates" and found these little gems from Wedding Paper Divas:

And these from My Wedding Paper:

(I think I really just liked the last one because their "date" was my birthday!)

And - a couple more glamourous ones from Minted:

And then there is the more adventurous route of actually designing and making them on our own... Did you see the pink floral stamp in a couple of the invites above? I used a similar design on our engagement party invites and absolutely would love to incorporate that design element into our wedding "theme," including the save the dates. I'll be sure to send an update once we make our decision!

The Dress Saga: Second Thoughts

Get lost Mr. S – Dress Photos Below!!



My Maggie Sottero Limited Edition in taffeta and lace… What more could a girl ask for. AND - I look like I’m a size 6 in that thing, I have no idea how that happened, but that was my vision of myself for the next month or so. I felt great about officially having my dress. MY DRESS! It was so exciting – I couldn’t even stop talking about it. I just could not believe that I had completed such an essential part of my wedding so quickly. That’s great, right? One more thing off the list of things to do – and a mega savings on the budget side. $1,500 gown for $253 is just unreal... I was convinced that we could use that savings to put toward a band, since we had originally thought it was way out of our price range. So many great things are coming out of this running of the brides deal. The wheels were still turning…



Here she is in all her discount glory:

(personal photo)

Mr. S decided that we probably shouldn’t keep the dress at our house as he may be too tempted to look at it, so one of my amazing Bridesmaids, L, offered to keep the dress at her house for safe keeping – and I could visit as many times as I wanted. So, one night after work, a bunch of the girls got together for a “storing away of the dress” party. I wanted to try the dress on and get some photos to take home with me so I could look at it anytime I wanted. I put the dress on, Bridesmaid L laced me in to the corset top, and down the grand staircase for photos. We got photos of the front, the back, the sides, you name it. The best version of dressup I’ve played since I was probably 7 or 8 years old. The other plus to getting these photos was that I could also see how this dress actually looked in the back and on the sides while it’s on me. Remember the big warehouse where I was standing in my underwear in front of a 1’x4’ mirror? Yeah, that’s all I’ve really seen of this dress up to this point.



A couple days later, I got the photos. Front shot with the silhouette still looks awesome, maybe looking like a size 10 now, but pretty much just how I remember. Then I moved on to the side and back shots. Hmmmmmmm, uhhhhhhhhhhh, ehhhhhhhhhhhhh. I don’t know. Wow, I really need to lose some weight back there…. Uhhhhhhhg. Then back to the front. Well….?? I do like it. Yes, uh, yeah, I do like it. Wait a minute here B – Like it? This is your wedding dress!!! You’re supposed to be head over heels in love with this thing!!!! And then... I just wasn’t anymore – I think. I don’t know.



There were really two parts to this feeling. In looking at the photos, and really seeing the dress from all angles, I didn’t think it really flattered my figure (granted, I planned on losing a few lbs before the big day, but, what if I didn’t?). Secondly, after hearing so many stories from other brides about their dress shopping, and that silly little show (that we all secretly love) “Say YES to the Dress,” I envisioned my dress buying experience to be fun and glamorous. You should come out of a dressing room with a beautiful dress on and stand in front of the 3 sided mirrors and everyone says “yay” or “maybe another one…”. Definitely didn’t get THAT experience in a warehouse with a rack full of dresses and 100 other women running around in their underwear. I really wanted that experience, and I felt deprived that I didn’t get it.



What’s the harm in just looking for another dress?? Maybe I go to the dress shops, try on a few more. If nothing hits me as “THE ONE” I know I already have a dress to fall back on. Who knows, maybe trying more on will be the convincing I need that I really did find my dress the first time. Next stop: wedding dress shopping with the girls - again…

The Name Game

To change my name, or not to change my name… That is the question.

As weird as it sounds, I’ve actually been thinking about changing my last name since I was a little kid. I just have such an easy English name, everyone could say it and spell it so easily. I didn’t really decide one way or another back then because I knew changing my last name was going to depend on the last name of the guy I would eventually marry. I always imagined myself with my crush’s last name, like Beth White, Beth Ormond, or Beth Leto (come on, who didn’t dream about marrying Jerred Leto…) Those names sounded great together, or at least were pronounceable, and something people could spell. Fast forward to present day… I guess I never really imagined that I would eventually be engaged to someone with a name like Mr. S………. Ummm, how do you say your last name??? Yeah, that’s what a Polish Ukrainian heritage does for you. You get that pause right before people say, or rather butcher, your last name, as they try to figure out how to say it in their heads. Or, if you say it for them, they couldn’t spell it if their life depended on it. We usually use my name for dinner reservations, or just resort to using one of our first names. I see it come through wrong on some of his mail, and I LOVE when the telemarketers call. I figure if they can’t say it right, they don’t have the right person… heheh, so sneaky.

Anyway, I’m so conflicted by this decision that its really got me worried. Back in the day, it was expected that the woman would take her husband’s last name once they were married. Now, you really have the option to do whatever you like; keep your maiden name, hyphenate your last names, or change it all together to be a combination of both names(although I’ve heard this option, I’ve never met someone who followed through with it.) I thought I would be so excited to just jump in to my wife role with my new wife name, but something just isn’t sitting right. I’ve evaluated all of these options heavily – but I’m still torn. Here goes my rational:

Change my name to his: I really want myself to love this option because I want to feel like we’re a family, and we all have the same name. I want to have the same name as our future children, which I know from experience, after growing up with a different last name as my mom, removes a ton of complication from permission slips, medical forms, and all things parent/child related. I don’t think I would mind being called Mrs. S, if it was pronounced correctly of course. It doesn’t sound terrible with my first name, but it doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue as easily as my current name. Maybe that just takes some time – the new feel will wear off? Maybe? It’s just the fact that I will always have to spell out my name when talking over the phone, correct people when they spell it wrong or say it wrong in public. Even my own family can’t say or spell it correctly (yet) – and its only 5 letters! Another piece of my frustration has surfaced even with planning the wedding with our wedding vendors, they always ask for both of our names, yet, they have on more than one occasion, spelled his last name wrong. If you want to do business with people, don’t you think you would want to spell their name correctly? (sorry, maybe that’s just a pet peeve of mine…)

Keep My Maiden Name: I LOVE MY NAME. I realize that sounds sort of conceited, but again, people can speak and spell my name now, and as weird as that sounds, it’s comforting. My mom is convinced that I have really made a name for myself in my career and that changing it now will make me have to start over again. I can see that to some degree, but it’s not like I’m going to lose any knowledge or experience, people will probably still reference me by my maiden name, and then they’ll realize, “oh, she got married.” People do that all the time… And seriously people – its not like I’m a big shot doctor, or lawyer, or politician or something. I manage construction, and I think I could do that with a different name. But something is still pulling at me to stay with my current name… Why!?

Hyphenating: Really. Just. Doesn’t. Work. It’s that simple. My last name ends in S, and his starts with an S – and that’s gonna be some seriously silly sounding stuff. (You like that alliteration? I thought it was kinda funny…) Just doesn’t sound right.

Change Our Names to Morph into a New Name: Um, no, we’re just not in to that sort of thing.

What’s a girl to do here!!??? I know I have some time to think through it, and maybe once the wedding happens, and I start to get a feel for my “new” name and title as Mrs. S, it’ll start to grow on me. I know for a fact that I will not be legally changing my name for at least 6 months after the wedding as we’re putting off our honeymoon until the next calendar year, and I don’t want to deal with passport drama before our big trip. Maybe I’ll take that time to try it on for size....

The Dress Saga: Continues...

So here we are, a little after 1 in the afternoon, all dressed up in our cute green shirts, walking into the “Running of the Brides.” Yes – when you go at 1pm instead of when the doors open at 8, you can actually walk in the door. We saw racks and racks of dresses ready for our pulling. We had our game plan “simple, lace, nothing super fancy, size 12-18, GO, meet here when you have some dresses.” 15-20 mins of searching the racks amounted to 3 dresses for me to try on. SO disappointing…



The first one was exciting, not for the design or its potential for being "the one", but mostly because it was the FIRST EVER wedding dress I had ever tried on. It was a simple satin a-line with lace at the bodice and along the hem of the dress. Plus it made my waist look SUPER skinny. Nice! I tried to get into a couple more – but they were wayyy too small to even get over my head. Bummer. Back out to the racks for another 20 mins to search for more. I tried on a couple more, one with sleeves (a definite no-no), and a really big ballgown that we knew wouldn’t be in the running, but it was in my size, so why not…



While I was taking off the mega-huge ballgown, I spotted a girl across the way trying on a simple a-line dress, lace on top, ribbon at the bodice – Paloma Blanca look-a-like, aka my dream gown. However – this girl was like 5 sizes too big for this dress, she couldn’t even get the zipper to start in the back. Not that she was a big girl or anything, but sometimes dresses just don’t fit – and probably will never fit quite right. You get the picture here. My MOH on duty for the day ran over and asked her if she was going to buy the dress (just being polite – even though it was SO obvious it was never going to fit her) and she said “nah, I don’t think so.” GREAT!!!! We waited for her to take the dress off so I could try it, but she just dilly-dallied along with the dress still on – trying on tops to other dresses with it. Seriously!? While we waited, we decided to go find some other dresses for me to try, but kept an eye on her to snag that dress if she ever decided to peel it off.



Well, she finally did take the dress off – but decided to carry it around with her while she kept looking – as if the dress was actually in the running for her to purchase. UGH. We were just about to give up for the day after being there for about 2 hours and me only finding about 5 dresses that I could actually fit into to try when helper friend J came over with a taffeta gown with lace on top – in a size 14. JACKPOT.



As I’m standing there in my underwear, (yes underwear – there are no dressing rooms in this joint) waiting for the dress to be pulled out of the bag and prepared for me to jump in, there is another girl standing very, VERY, close to me, watching the whole process. There are other women running around, looking at dresses on the racks next to us, walking through, but this one is standing 3 feet from me, watching me get dressed. I awkwardly said, “Hi,” (in a tone that was more like, Um, Hi – I see you there watching me get dressed, and you’re starting to freak me out.) She took it that way too so she replied, “I had that dress 3 hours ago and I absolutely love it – but some girl stole it from me. I’ve been searching for it all afternoon. If you’re not going to buy it, I will.” Wow – thanks – no pressure there.



So, I am getting tied into this dress’s corset back, and I’m really liking the way it looks. But now I feel guilty – this girl’s dream dress is dependent on my decision – and she’s going to stand there until I make up my mind… I’m really liking it, the tighter the corset gets, and I say this out loud “wow, I really love this dress.” It doesn’t scare this girl, at this point I think she is going to follow me to the register. All of my friends love the dress, and I really do love the way the dress looks on me in the tiny 1’x4’ mirror. At this point, I’m actually thinking “this could be it!” AND it has a $250 price tag. Without any further hesitation, I decide to buy the dress – and I tell this to my onlooker. She hangs her head and says, “OK, I’m really happy for you, it looks really great,” and walks away… Me and my little group of green shirts are all big smiles, and we have our “YAY – we found the dress” moment, and people next to us clap, and give us their congratulations, and we go to the register to buy the dress after crushing that dear girl’s dreams – for a second time today. I really did feel bad, for like a minute….

As we’re walking home – we’re all SO excited. High fives, smiles, congratulations from other groups leaving the convention center. The dress is done. One of the most important pieces of the wedding puzzle is taken care of. Or so we thought…